Out and about, and keeping nursery on the same page

Leaving the house without nappies feels like a big step. A little planning, and a lot of consistency with carers, makes it manageable.

Potty training at home is one thing. The supermarket, the soft play, the car and nursery are another. These are the moments parents worry about most, and the ones where a bit of preparation pays off.

Before you leave

Offer a try before you leave the house. The NHS also suggests one every time you’re out and pass a toilet. Make both part of the routine and they’ll soon stop feeling like a battle.

What to pack

NHS advice is to take plenty of changes of clothes, a travel potty if you have one, and an absorbent seat liner if you’re driving. A few extras many parents swear by:

wipes and a couple of bags for wet clothes
a fold-up toilet seat for adult-sized public toilets
a spare pair of socks and shoes, because puddles travel

Public toilets can be scary

Loud hand dryers, automatic flushes and echoing rooms can put small children off. It helps to:

warn them before a loud noise (“this toilet flushes by itself and it’s noisy”)
cover the auto-flush sensor with your hand or a sticky note while they sit
let them cover their ears, or skip the dryer and use paper towels

The AAP also suggests practising the whole routine at home first: pulling clothes down and up, flushing and handwashing. That way the only new thing is the room.

Long journeys

A pull-up for a long car journey or a flight is fine. It isn’t a step backwards. Plan stops, offer a try at each one and go back to pants as normal when you arrive.

Nursery and childminders: same words, same plan

The NHS recommends talking to your nursery or childminder to plan how you’ll work together. ERIC stresses keeping things consistent between home and childcare, down to the words you use. Things worth sharing:

the words your child uses for wee, poo and potty
how often you’re offering a try, and at which routine moments
how they show they need to go
how things went today and yesterday, especially any held poos or a run of accidents
a bag of spare clothes, labelled

A quick daily handover goes a long way. It helps your child feel the same rules apply everywhere.

In the US

Many US daycares and preschools have their own potty training policies, and some expect children to be trained before moving up to a particular room. Ask early what their policy is and how they handle accidents. The AAP also suggests taking young children into the restroom that matches your own gender until at least age four, and teaching them to come straight to you if a stranger approaches them in a restroom.

When to get help

If your child is very anxious about toilets away from home and it’s leading to holding on (especially poos), or accidents keep happening at nursery but not at home, talk to your health visitor or GP. Withholding can lead to constipation.